here i am

Here, being the living room of a good friends apartment.  I, which makes reference to self, or as my parents named me, Ronald J. Lombardo.  Am, which proves my present state of being.  With that being said, most readers have done one of two things.  Clicked the round X at the top of their screens and gone on with their day, or took some time to think of those three words in reference to themselves.  Let me rephrase the statement.  There you are, whether in your study, your bedroom, or laying across your couch.  Your desires.  Your thoughts.  Your body.  There you are.

This past week ive been pondering my location, my life, and my state of being.  I all to often forget how i got here.  To this house. To this city.  To this world.  I think of how many divine relationships, spoken words, and broken roads (or so i thought) have strategically placed me in this seat.  I sit here, breathe here, exist here, not by chance.  You see, i was created. (Genesis 1:26-28) I did not create myself, nor did anyone of you readers create me.  I was given joints to bend and blood to flow, hands to grip and ears to hear, eyes to see and a tongue to taste.  A heart to give and to receive love.  I did not ask for these (Nor did i have to pay extra), as they were given to me as gifts.

I wonder what the human race would look like if I sat down to draft up the first model.  Would my intention as creator be to grant such beautiful gifts to each person?  Would i spend time to detail elbows, and knees to bend so as to perform specific tasks?  Would i care if what i created enjoyed the taste of honey, or stood in awe of the bright blue sky?  Would i have created such a glorious playground for them to exist in, and freely grant it to them?  Chances are, i would have left out one of the most loving gifts we’ve been given, a mind of our own.

Yet, All to often i forget my purpose for all of these gifts.  My ears are to hear the sounds of the forest echoing through the valley.  My skin is to feel the warmth of the sun as it beams down from above. My nose to smell of the tulips in spring.  My eyes to gaze upon the beauty of a loved one.  But on that day of long ago, each gift that we’ve been granted to experience freedom and abundance, gained their own desires, setting them apart from their intent.  We now desire the taste of foods not meant for the body.  We long for sounds and smells of destruction.  We gaze upon that which doesn’t belong to us. We take from lots that were never ours.  All of which was intended for good, quickly became an opportunity for the alternative.  So i say, here i am, created with an eternal purpose for good, and yet an earthly desire for evil.  How quickly i forget that every moment is a battle. That every stream is flowing against me, and when i take one second to rest, quickly i am swept away.

My prayer and my hope is to use these gifts ive been given wisely so that someday i will finish this race and receive all thats been promised.  May my eyes only gaze upon that which has been granted to me.  May my ears only hear sweet sounds of rejoicing.  May my tongue only taste of sweet grapes from the vine.  May my mind be restored and renewed to only be used for that which glorifies its creator.

Should the moment come that one of these gifts fails to be used for its eternal purpose, may grace transcend  the heavens and rain down upon me.

I was created to be me.  Beautiful, accepted, and loved, me. Here I am.

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